Saturday, June 18, 2011

Of love and longing

She sat on her bed crying. Today again she had a fight with Somu, her beloved husband. It had just been 2 years since both of them got married. These fights have already become a part of their early morning routine. 

She was a financially independent woman before marriage who left her job to cater to the initial demands of a family life. Sitting home was just not her. Yet she chose, to strike a balance. Why would not Somu understand that. Every other morning he would give some or the other reason to come home late. The passion was already amiss. 
It was her parent's anniversary today and they had called both of them. As usual Somu did not have time. She could have gone alone but that would hurt her parents. After all how many times did they formally invite both of them for the fear of letting her down.

While she was sitting, he called out - loud and clear, the ragpicker for the colony. Yup, she did have some old stuff to discard. She went out to ask him to wait and noticed a young boy in his early twenties doing the job. "Who are you, where is the elderly fellow who comes daily", enquired she. "He is my father and off late is not keeping well hence I come". There was a certain charm to the boy hence she asked him to sit and offered him water. She came to know that he was doing his post graduation and was not at all ashamed to pick rags. If his father could do this for the entire life to give him a good education he could surely do it for a few days. They sat for long and chatted. She contrasted his love for his father with Somu's love for her. How similar situations and how different the treatment. One took time out of love and the other could not find time for the love of his life. They talked for almost half an hour. 

And then it became a routine, she would talk to him daily on some or the other pretext. She sensed he also liked talking to her. Both of them found solace in the conversations they shared. He would tell her about how his mother left his father because she did not like the job he did and he swore to stand by his father no matter what. She would talk about Somu and how love was just crawling out of their marriage. The class confines held no bar for both of them. Where hearts meet, brains are forced to take a backseat. There were no worries of inflated egos, pretenses, false sophistication, Only plain, unadulterated admiration.

They  now started looking forward to this happy hour as they termed it, free from the worldly woes and so personal. She was no longer bothered by Somu's indifference to her. Somu was also happy to be relieved of her constant complains.He was amazed to see her light, playful demeanor back but failed to understand the reasons behind it. It was good for her if she continued this way. 

It had been a month today that they met. She offered to take him out for coffee. He was a little reluctant to get inside the five star hotel. He had still not adapted to her expensive ways. But he liked the way she kept a low profile despite the class. Hence he agreed. It was just the upbringing she had. Once inside they sat sipping coffee without a word. For the first time there was silence between them. Probably their eyes did most of the talking without letting the brain know of it. She paid the bill and came out. As they sat in the car their eyes met again. There were two agonized souls lurking in them.  They came closer and then their lips met. There was no urgency. Slow, soft, pure emotions simply flowing in as if in a gesture of giving. Giving peace, calm and  soothing the bruised selves. Their eyes met again. And then she realized.  The reality of the situation struck her for the first time. She withdrew in a fraction of second. He, not knowing what happened, just gazed at her. She started her car and raced home. Once there she ran inside and locked herself in, tears streaming down her eyes. 

Does happiness always comes attached with a price tag. Suddenly all the money in the world fell short to buy what she wanted. She opened her door to have a last look at him, he was already out of sight.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Reflections of a wandering soul


 A song from radio yesterday prompted me for this blog.

I have grown old with Indian Music (yup, English was never my forte except the ever so sexy number Waiting for tonight). Hindi songs were my first love teacher :) They are the best partners to a heartbreak too. There is more to what meets the eye, deep inside, between the lines. Here I go.

1) Chalo ek baar fir se - Gumraah
Melodical suggestion to amputate the disturbing memories, could not have been better. 
Wo afsana jise anjaam tak laana na ho mumkin, 
use ek khoobsurat mod dekar chodna achcha

2) Is mod se jate hai - Aandhi
The quest to unite, so strong, so ethereal yet so simple
ye soch ke baithi hu, ek raah to wo hogi
tum tak jo pahuchti hai

3) Mera kuch saaman - Ijaazat
A masterpiece by R.D. Burman and Gulzar, the perfect company to lonely nights with the raindrops plattering against the window panes. 
ek ijaazat de do bus, jab isko dafnaungi
mai bhi yahi so jaungi

4) Hum tumhe chahte hai aise - Qurbaani
An eternally romantic song, featuring the Ah so handsome Vinod Khanna. The desire of every heart in love
mere khwabon me jo saj raha hai
wo khuda to nahi par zamane me sabse juda hai

5) Jo tumko ho pasand - Safar
One song I would love my man to sing for me time and again. Throughout a promise of fidelity and unfaltering love. The presence of style king Firoz Khan lends more than just meaning to the song ;)
poore hue hai apse armaan zindagi ke
hum zindagi ko apki saugaat kahenge

6) Sagar jaisi aankhon wali - Saagar
Hardly will there be a woman on earth who will not blush listening to the song being directed to her. Full of enraptured admiration and delightful arousal of the senses.
ye armaan hai shor nahi ho,khamoshi ke mele ho
is duniya me koi nahi ho, hum dono hi akele ho

7) Humne dekhi hai - Khamoshi
a beautiful song which is simply out of the world. Every time I listen to the song the lyrics stir some unknown feelings deep inside me. The timeless art of defining love.
sirf ehsas hai ye rooh se mahsoos karo
pyaar ko pyaar hi rehne do koi naam na do

Am sure there are more in the list. Hindi songs have some of the most beautiful gems around. But for now this is all I recall. Feel free to add on. 


















Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Lessons from Yesteryears

Dear Readers

This has been long boiling in me, but was too tied up to pen it down. Finally today I can stand it no more and have to write anyhow. My thoughts are foggy with so much to deliver and discuss.
We all during the natural phenomenon of growing up knowingly or otherwise experience so many things which mold us to be what we are, from insignificant trivia to remarkable episodes.

This column will be about important lessons that I have learned during the course of my growing years. They have all contributed in me becoming what I am today. So all those who think I am a good human being, I am hardly to credit. There are so many out there who have left a mark on me and have shaped me in my current form. 

My favorite lesson till date has been from a close school friend Vriti Sharma. I have hardly seen her after my college days but we still manage to catch up on phone at times. I remember it vaguely....something had happened while in school and everybody held me responsible. She was one of those who agreed with me when I said it was not my fault. As a kid I had learnt that at times saying sorry was the safest bet. In order to avoid conflicts I agreed to say sorry. It was then that I learnt this for life She came to me and very humbly asked if I genuinely felt sorry. " Are you out of your mind, of course not, you know I am not a party". "Then why do you want to make your conscience weak". Those words still echo in my mind. Sorry is such a small word, at times we do not even think twice before saying it. It has almost become a fad to say sorry and forget it. How many times do we actually mean it. More than that we just say it for the heck of saying. 

Today I realize this restraint has made me a stronger person. I do not say sorry now till the time I am sure I am at fault. Other way round, I do not even hesitate to accept my mistakes. Because I know what Sorry is all about. There is no fear, feeling of subservience or inferiority when I accept my mistakes. In fact it has made me more magnanimous in ignoring others' mistakes. 

The lesson has had far reaching impact on me. I am a more strong, accomodating and confident person now. I know accepting mistakes is tough job and hence take utmost care not to repeat it. I have learnt never to say SORRY without being at fault.
Thank you Vriti.

I am sure all of us had similar expereinces. Why not add to these lessons and make this a learning chain. After all it is never too late to learn. What say!!!