सरहद के आर पार

शहर से थोड़ा आगे मुड़ो सरहद दिखेगी 

वही सरहद जिसके उस पार दहशतगर्द है और इस पार आतंकी 

वही सरहद जिसके दोनो तरफ़ सियासतें है जो खेलती है मासूमों के दिल से दिमाग़ से 

सुना कल रात सरहद पर गोलियाँ चली, लहू बहा

वही सरहद जिसके उस पार भी लहू का रंग लाल था और इस पार भी।।

Learnings of a Bereaved soul

Diwali is approaching. And so are some of my intimate memories with my "One true love." Bosco, my friend and confidant who always blew the whistle at the wrong time. For those who know him, he was the most lovable, intelligent and obedient dog. Diwali after him has never been the same as before. My earlier memories are of spending heaps of money on fireworks which lasted no more than an hour or so. I would invite every possible relative to witness the show which was nothing less majestic than what states do on their anniversaries. It would be lot of pomp and show. Individually I would generate carbon footprints equivalent to a month of any pollution intensive activity. It would take my dad an hour next morning to clean the area around my house.

 

And then Bosco arrived. The happy, boisterous jumping jack through the year would turn into a demure, timid lad every Diwali. His plight hit me hard the 3rd Diwali he was with us. In a haste to be a part of celebrations, someone amongst us had left the door open. I was lighting an Anaar, Bosco saw this, came running from the inside room, kicked open the hydraulic door and threw himself on the Anaar. Though he did manage to put the anaar out but in the endeavor burnt his paw and nose slightly. Thereon it changed everything. From a loud noisy affair my festival catapulted into a silent night of lights only. I felt his pain with him after that every Diwali. I would sit inside besides the bed cuddling him for the entire night refusing to leave him alone even for a moment. I never went out socializing during those days only to save him some misery. Bosco is now no longer with me  but his painful memories are. I have given up on fireworks completely. Everyone around me is amazed at this transformation and my only excuse is that I have grown scared of them after so many daring years.  

 

Bosco has changed me in so many other ways too. He taught me to never take anyone for granted. His untimely demise drilled it hard that life is short and we should spend it appreciating good things in life. We should do what we love often. Thanks to him I never loose an opportunity to tell my family and friends how much I love them. At the same time he would conduct himself such that he never wasted time on someone who did not like him. He had his people clearly demarked. He cared two hoots for his haters ignoring them completely to their utter dismay. In short Bosco taught me to be at peace with myself, care more, love more and give more. I am a lot more compassionate and forgiving now.

 

To everyone else he was just a dog but to me he was a master. Living with him was an absolute pleasure besides some great learning. Many would laugh at it but I read somewhere "Dogs do speak, but only to those who listen". I did and was fortunate enough to make amend at the right time for I always wanted to be the one my dog thought I am.

 

Deeds of encouragement from a not so encouraging month

Gujarat is reeling. While I sit in my office and pen this down the surroundings outside wear a gloomy, deserted cover owing to the Patel reservations agitation.

The gloom manages to engulf me as well even though I have just returned from a laid back, all girls holiday which is my usual half yearly escapade. Yes, I am dejected because unlike the Patels and Gurjars no one fights for women like me. I could do with a reservation for special stag entries in night clubs, a reservation for guaranteed lower berths in trains since with passing age I am unable to climb up without hurting myself. Some assistance here and there and some men standing for me would just boost my morale up enough to sing praises to my motherland on days other than National holidays.

Oh…that reminds me of our 68^th Independence Day which has just passed. The kind of Citizen I am ever so passionate, loyal and go getter, I have high dreams for my country and I believe in channelizing them. Like I mentioned above, the holiday, I was in Lucknow then and this close friends’ home where I was staying had a very devoted maid working for her.  She was 10^th fail yet had very high aspirations. In one of my “we all are born equal” banter with her she voiced her desire for formal employment. The activist in me assimilated this information out speeding a Japanese express train and sent her to meet one of my HR friends in the city for job. Well, the prospect must have worked out because from the next day she stopped coming to work. My friend was a bit surprised since this poor thing had never ever ignored her calls nor ever given her a chance to complain and here she was, absent without information. That night I woke up from a terrifying dream where this so far best friend of mine was throwing my luggage out of her house shouting fury and this dame of hers is standing in a corner with a sweet box in her hand. One can only imagine the relief I breathed on catching my flight. So much for doing good to people and lowering the employment rate of the nation. Since then this friend has called me twice and both the times I have managed to miss her call expecting the worse.

As I step inside the elevator to attend my daily morning meeting with the top guns of the hotel (they can literally shoot by means of their candid conversations) it decides to stall at the next floor. I have always had this phobia of getting stuck in an elevator all by myself with no means of getting out. This time thankfully people are standing out and they know I am in there. I am seething with fury. I think of what a senior leader would do in such a circumstance. Instantly I am reminded of Amit Shah (yeah yeah the same Gujarati politico mastermind). He faced a similar predicament while on a visit to one of BJP’s headquarters. It was heard the HQ had their grants scraped for next two months. Bingo!! What an impact. Seeking encouragement, by the time I reached the meeting I had prepared my speech well on how unacceptable it is for technology in a upper upscale hotel to betray like this and the importance of regular checks and maintenances. My tone was well rehearsed to make a visible impact aiming at throwing some weight around. On finishing I looked around hoping to see some faces hung low in shame. Did I see a smile there instead? “But madam, the elevator has a notice pasted saying out of order”, blurts out a junior bloke. “Are you trying to tell me”, I argue, managing to maintain the same air, “it is more about reducing our lead time in sorting out issues. And that we still have not managed to do. Let’s begin the meeting.”

Needless to say my concentration had timed out and the moment meeting was over I ran down the stairs to my office and fetched this monthly horoscope out which had warned me about August being a tricky month for Sagittarians and how it would be in their best interest to keep their mouths zipped and ideas locked.  True to being an overconfident Sagittarian I had earlier trashed it maybe to read it now more carefully word by word only to save the rest of the month.

Happy Father's Day

"Oh dad, I love you", and Arun hugged his father tight. The father's eyes filled with tears, after all what more could an old relic ask for at this stage but to be loved by his only son. Arun took out a brand new I phone from his pocket and handed over to his dad. "Son, I do not need this". "Oh come on papa, you live alone here and this will be a good time pass". The father reluctantly accepted the gift. "Arun, it's been long since I met my daughter in lay and grand son, why don't you bring them here some day", the father pleaded. "Papa!! Not again, I have told you so many times they hardly get time". If Arun could read it, his father's eyes spelled dejection and disappointment. "Ok beta don't worry. As long as you all are happy I am fine. I have enough memories of your mother to help me survive".

Arun spent around an hour with his dad constantly looking at his watch. The doting father urged his son to go ahead and meet his important schedule. "Nothing much papa, but I promised rashi I will take go with her to meet her dad. I will take your leave, we are getting late". With this Arun marched off hurriedly to the compound of Jeevan Sandhya old age home where his car was parked and drove off. The father kept waving till the time the car did not vanish from his sight. He looked at the phone and it came ringing back to him "Happy Father's Day. 

Heart's way out

It was her first day in the Corporate World. She had so far led a very sheltered life with her parents in a small sleepy town with a few close friends. Suddenly her world was expanding and at a furious pace.

She entered the office, a small white room with just one desktop in the name of equipments. The room was cold or so she felt. The color of walls did nothing to warm her up. Her Boss sat next door. That did not loosen her up either. The only induction she received was the way to the mess and timings. She had her first meeting with her Boss in the next 10 minutes.

Grey hair and warm eyes were the first things she noticed in him. He talked to her about the job profile, expectations of the company and candidly enough the troubles she should anticipate in the corporate corridors. It lasted for around 30 minutes where she thought it wise to just use her ears well. Later during the day, she decided to introduce herself to everyone around. Sure enough, she could already feel the chill in the hot month of June. Within minutes she realized she was the youngest on board with a portfolio as wide as any of the seasoned players around. Wherever she went she was welcomed with cold shoulders, smoldering eyes and open sneers.

"There begins my ordeal", she thought to herself, "they will not be able to break me". And then on it became a daily ritual, silly allegations, petty conflicts and deriding remarks, till one fine day she could take it no more. She barged into her Boss's office. "I am surprised, you stood tall for longer than I thought". Tears welled up in her eyes and she could not control them. He got up from his seat, enveloped her in one Big Bear Hug which lasted long enough for her worries to drift apart. "I wanted you to learn walking first, now that you are already sprinting I shall run with you". And true to his words, since then he was always there to defend her. She was strong, all she needed was a pillar to fall back on. She came out with flying colors. For the first time people actually started noticing her, praising her.

And from there on, they developed a special bond. Sharing, discussing... a very platonic thing. Both found solace with each other in the corrupt power equations. They would often discuss people, tactics, strategies over endless cups of tea within or outside the confines of white walls. People talked, but who cared. They were floating closer in oblivion or probably it was a conscious disregard of the mortal ties. She enjoyed when he discussed work with her and asked her out for continuing the lengthy conversations. He was a man who wielded power at the right moment and that endeared him to her. The fact that he was concerned about her personal life, her relationships, her career placed him in high regards. She liked to believe there was more to what was going on. She yearned for those bear hugs. And so time moved with her growing stronger and confident in the role and in person.  Suddenly it was time for her to move to the next assignment. How she was torn between him and career progression. He urged her to choose the latter. Move, she made, with them staying in close touch for months to come. From regular to rare, their meetings turned sporadic and so did the calls. Before either of them realized it had stopped all together.

Today while sitting in front of him after a span of 15 long years, she realized nothing has changed. It was the same grey hair, warm eyes and above all the same bear hug. She was still in awe of him and it brought back a rush of memories. He, however, had moved on.

What was it.....a fatherly comfort that she needed the most then or something more intimate which she still longed for.

100 ग्राम उम्मीद

 

तलाश और  बस और  गहरी तलाश।  यही तो करती रहती थी उसकी आँखें, हर वक़्त उस एक शख्स की तलाश जो उसके साथ उसके कदम बाँट सके, उसकी उम्मीदे नाप सके ओर उसके ख्वाब जी सके। 

इतनी भी उमर नही हुई थी  उसकी जितनी लोगो ने बातें  बना डाली थी. दोस्तो से ले कर अजनबियों तक हर कोई उसे यही समझाता था की अब उसे शादी कर लेनी चाहिए|  वो अक्सर हंस कर टाल देती कि  लड़का ला दो कर लूँगी।  लोग कहते थे की उसे अपनी उम्मीदे कम करनी होगी, कही ना कही तो कॉंप्रमाइज़ करना पड़ेगा।  आख़िर शादी का मतलब ही यही है ओर सब करते है. उसे हमेशा से ये सोच नागवार थी, बस बात ही यही थी की उसे कोई अपेक्षा ही तो नही थी।  उसे सिर्फ़ एक सुलझा हुआ इंसान चाहिए था जो उसकी भागती ज़िंदगी मे थोड़ा ठहराव ला सके,  पर शायद ये क़ौम धरती से रुखसत हो चुकी थी. जहा देखती पैसा, दिखावा, ढोंग भरा होता. विचारो की गहराई ओर ज़िंदगी की समझ 21वी सदी के लिए थी ही नही.

कमी थी भी तो क्या उसे. माता पिता की इकलौती संतान थी।  मल्टिनॅशनल कंपनी मे ऊँचे पद पर कार्यरत थी।  ज़रूरत से ज़्यादा कमाती थी और अपने साथ साथ अपने माँ बाप के शौक भी पूरे करती थी।  पर उसके माँ बाप को भी दुनिया की तरह एक ही चिंता खाए जाती थी।  कई बार वो समझ नही पाती थी की ये चिंता ज़्यादा है या बोझ कम करने की कोशिश। 

 

एक दिन वो यूही दफ़्तर मे कही उलझी थी की चपरासी ने आकर बताया की एक नामी बॅंक के वाइस प्रेसीडेंट उसे मिलने आए है।  यूं भी बिज़नेस टाई अप के चक्कर मे बॅंक से अधिकारियो का आना जाना लगा रहता था।  वो गयी, उन्हे नमस्कार किया ओर बैठ गयी उनकी बात सुनने के लिए।  बातो बातो मे बात निकली ओर बिज़नेस से निकल कर व्यक्तिगत जीवन पर मूड गयी। काफ़ी सुलझा हुआ व्यक्तित्व था उनका।  लिखने पड़ने का शौक फरमाते थे, दीं दुनिया से जुड़ी खबरो मे विशेष रूचि रखते थे और धरम देश के बंधनो की खुल कर आलोचना करते थे। समाज और समाज से जुड़े ढकोसलो को वे सिरे से खारिज कर जाते।  दुनियादारी पर उन दोनो के विचार काफ़ी मिलते जुलते थे। काफ़ी दिलचस्पिया पैदा हो गयी दोनो के बीच ओर कहाँ वक़्त निकल गया पता ही नही चला। इसी बीच उसने जाना की वो शहर मे नये आए है और  रहने के लिए मकान ढूँढ रहे है जिसमे उन्हे बहुत परेशानी का सामना करना पड़ रहा है। कारण पूछने पर उन्होने बताया की इस शहर मे अविवाहित लोगो को कोई किराया देना पसंद नही करता।  ना जाने क्यूँ उनकी इस परेशानी से उसे एक अजीब सा सुकून मिला. काफ़ी देर तक गुपशुप चलती रही, आख़िर उन्होंने  उससे विदा ली ओर निकल गये। घर आकर वो बहुत देर तक उनके बारे मे सोचती रही। 

उसकी उम्र तक आते आते प्यार की जगह तजुर्बे ओर समझ ने ले ली थी। वो जानती थी की ज़िंदगी जीने के लिए जज़्बात मिलना ज़रूरी है, प्यार तो फिर हुमराह होने पर हो ही जाता है।  उन जनाब की बातो ने काफ़ी रात तक उसे जगाए रखा। इन्ही बातो मे खोई हुई वो कब नींद के आगोश मे चली गयी उसे पता ही नही चला। 

दूसरे दिन दफ़्तर मे जाकर वो काम मे ऐसी मशगूल हुई की इस मुलाकात के बारे मे भूल गयी।  शाम को उसके मोबाइल पर मेसेज आया जिसमे उसे बिज़नेस प्रपोज़ल के बारे मे पूछा था।  वो समझ गयी की ये उन्ही का मेसेज होगा।  और फिर मेसेजस का दौर शुरू हुआ।  दोनो ने एक कप कॉफी पर इस प्रपोज़ल को आगे बढ़ाने की ठानी।  कॉफी शॉप मे एक दूसरे को देखते ही दोनो के चेहरे पर गहरी मुस्कान आ गयी।  एक दूसरे मे उनकी ये विशेष रूचि अब उन दोनो पर भी ज़ाहिर हो चुकी थी सो खुल कर बातें बह निकली।  बिज़नेस प्रपोजल ने एक दूसरा ही मोड़ पकड़ लिया था।  कॉफी से कब डिनर तक पहुचे, ये तंद्रा वेटर ने भंग की ये कह कर की होटेल बंद होने का समय हो गया है।  बिल दे कर बाहर निकले ओर काफ़ी दूर तक चलते रहे।  फिर उसी ने पहेल करी ये कह के की वो उसे अपना बिज़नेस कार्ड देना तो भूल ही गया।  उसने जेब से कार्ड निकाला ओर उसकी ओर बड़ाया।  कार्ड देखते ही उसका हाथ वही थम गया - फारूक  कुरैशी!!

धर्म से उसे इतनी नफ़रत क्यूँ थी ये वजह शायद आज पहली बार इतनी जातिय तौर पर उसे समझ आई थी।  उसके थमे हुए हाथ और उसकी ठहरी हुई नज़र से फ़ारूक़ को भी ये अंदाज़ा हो गया था।  उसने दो घड़ी रुक कर उसकी आँखों को टटोला।  उम्मीद का वज़न बड़ी तेज़ी से गिरता देख उसने अपना कार्ड वापिस जेब मे रखा ओर एक आख़िरी बार उससे नज़रे मिला कर अपने कदम उल्टी दिशा मे बड़ा दिए। 

बचपन में सुना एक गाना उसे याद आ गया था … 

“तू हिंदू बनेगा ना मुसलमान बनेगा, इंसान की औलाद है इंसान बनेगा”

66th Republic Day - An unprecedented diplomatic honour

Dear Mr. President

Let me first congratulate ourselves on how proud we are to host the First ever US President for our Republic day celebrations.  It is a matter of unique pride and diplomatic achievement for a country like India where almost every Indian dreams of visiting US once in his lifetime and where the most expensive trips by travel companies are to US cashing in on the popularity of your nation.

Believe me when I say, my whole country is abuzz with news of your arrival and how all of a sudden your trip to India has become the most talked about subject surpassing the critical issue of elections in the capital city of Delhi. Yeah, we go for elections every year whilst your trip is once in a lifetime affair though we can just hope we get more chances to witness such maddening furor.

Let me tell you, I was a little upset when you denied VISA to our very own India bred man of steel Narendra Modi and post that the diplomatic uproar over Devyani Khobragade.  But guess we were to live with it because soon we were going to have the most incredible victory on the International political scene, the visit of the most powerful man on the face of Earth, the President of USA.  It will be wrong to say I am not looking forward to this visit because of the distance that INDO US relations have travelled since the times of “the undiplomatic disaster” that was Nehru’s meeting with Truman. Thankfully I am getting to read better stuff in my morning newspapers than the same old stories of rape, terrorism, political unrest etc. It makes me feel good how you have progressed towards the safety and security of life in your country that there are at least 90,000 security personnel to guard you on your visit to India. Now this Mr. President might be the total number of Police constables in India to guard our ever increasing population of multibillions. The 500 men strong US Secret service agent entourage coming with you might put our very own RAW to shame since the total number of RAW Agents working in India will fall short of that number.

Your trip will also teach us some excellent lessons in the age old “Mezbani” and “mehmaan navazi” that we have been famous for. Coming as a State guest and travelling in your own Cadillac instead of Pranabda”s S600…we are already ashamed of not being able to provide you with better options. We were also apparently asked to declare NO FLY ZONE over Rashtrapati bhavan while you are here and I heard we declined. No…not at all stately. You are our guest, so what if that would have meant putting a comma to our age old traditions. We could have always resumed back next year. It is good that you have also cautioned Pakistan against terror activity in India during your visit. We have been tired of yelling but their shelling does not stop. May be, no no, I am assured they will pay a heed to you. They don’t want an end to monies funding their artillery. Besides the per person life cost in US is 100 folds higher than in India. I understand that it is mainly because Dollar is stronger than rupee and in those terms Pakistan will end up paying more than they usually do in India.  We of course give them freebies too now and then.  

So all in all your visit has me perked up and all set for some diplomatic action. It is good that your people have invaded our Maurya Sheraton and left nothing to the details of Indian security forces because we struggle with protection of our civilians and women. Having plugged in all loopholes there is one left I presume, please have Air force 1 to stock up on 20,000 gallons of breathable air since Delhi air is polluted and might pose a serious threat to POTUS. Rest it is wise enough that AIR FORCE 1 will not be switched off during the time you tour India. It should be a major boost to Indian economy with the fuel prices being in pretty good shape and what with you guys paying in Dollars. So to sum it up in one word

WELCOME Mr. President